Here is a rigorous analysis of the weighty matter of rock, paper, and scissors.   In a moment of weakness, I allowed myself to consider that perhaps it is ridiculous to break a long silence with something so pointless...  until we ask:  "Pointless" as opposed to what?

For those who insist on weightier matter to fil the time 'twixt womb and tomb, I should perhaps alert you to the hitherto undisclosed fact that certain persons are very unhappy about thee Illuminati (some of whom, according to Illuminati News - who should know, after all - are Wampires) and our - I mean, uh, Their - secret underground world.

Okay, serious people, are you happy?