Five things Barack Obama could safely do upon taking office without risking his significant advantage over the incumbent in credibility and public support:

1. Sit motionlessly for four years.
2. Hold a press conference at which he admits that he hung out with Bill Ayers because people who have attempted to smash the state make interesting company.  No additional penalty for ending it with "Power to the people - right on!"
3. Install a minaret in the middle of the White House rose garden, and enlist a muezzin to lead the call to prayer five times a day.
4. Set a blowtorch to "that fucking flag pin" on live TV.
5. Take a dump on Lincoln's desk while carving "Fuck Amerika" into the face of a small child, for all we care.  Do whatever you want!  Just please - please - let it be over, already.

Props to Xaos for the original concept for this post and substantial co-authorship.