I should like to say - at the risk of undermining the apocalyptic negativity which has always been my stock-in-trade - a few words about love.

1 - Love of humanity

Appeals to love are often dismissed as naive, idealistic; yet, in truth, it is the disparagers of love who have retreated into fantasy.  I try to convey to others the ugly truths:  the alienation from fundamentals that drives our daily lives, our intimacy with suffering and injustice, and the whole contemporary (and perennial) nightmare.  It is only in ignoring these that can one also successfully ignore love.  The two realities are intertwined.  They both become clear from direct contact with what is actually going on here and now in the concrete moment in which we live.

The great Californian philosopher Josiah Royce (for whose acquaintance I am deeply indebted to a dear friend and colleague - Eudaimon! Wish you were ear! ) observed that true morality is an amalgam of perception and sentiment.  When one truly and fully perceives the nature of the other beings around one, this naturally triggers in us a response, rooted in our most innate and authentic sense of value.  This is like Kant's principle of humanity in some ways - a cognitive recognition of the inherent worthiness of conscious minds.  But it crucially mediated by that form of perception that is - love.  Those Bhikkus of the Dhutanga-Kammatthana (or "forest monk") tradition of Thailand, who live for long periods in tiger-filled forests, overcome their fear, often, by a sober reflection on the fundamentally similar situation of the tigers - who are burdened, as we are, by pain, illness, fear, desire, and death.  Sometimes, this culminates in a great and clear feeling of love for the tigers, in the presence of which, fear is banished.  Oddly enough, very few, if any, of these monks are harmed by the tigers among whom they live without shelter or protection.  As many wise heads have observed, fear and ignorance are complementary, even identical, while they are cured by love and understanding, which are also, in a certain sense, identical.

Nowadays - and this may surprise those of you who know me - I am fond of saying (and sometimes sincerely) that I am the luckiest person in the world, because I never have to deal with anyone I truly detest.  For years I have struggled with the residual racism that lurks in the hearts of most of us; I began to win that struggle only when I gave in and admitted that the only solution is to strive to "love thy neighbor as thyself".  At that point, superficialities become more transparently superficial.

But - everyone?  Even assholes?  Like it or not, yes.  People act vilely - for reasons.  Such people are in a bad way, and suffering more greatly (usually) than those they are assholes toward.  As William Blake said:  "Mutual forgiveness of every vice; such are the gates of paradise."

2 - Love of friends

Since my blog has been something of a whine-fest, it has evoked lovely expressions of support from friends, despite the years of neglect I have heaped on them.   I cannot begin to express how deeply friendship of all kinds - from deepest long-term intimacy to intense encounters with strangers who, for a day or two, were confidantes - has structured my life, and over and over, renewed my vision of what life is, and what it should be.  My soul has been saved by my friends so many times that I cannot begin to convey what the connection with select others has meant.  I have known some of the finest people on Earth, by my reckoning.  Through friendship, one learns how to be a human among humans - a life-long task, but a worthy one. 

3 - Love of BD

My inamorata - how can I begin to praise her?  Brilliant, creative, willful, discerning, beautiful, eloquent, strong - and always, and insistently, herself - despite a world that wants anything but a woman with her own mind who refuses to fold.  I have been largely silent about her in this blog, largely because I shrink before the task of conveying what cannot be conveyed.

The love that I have discovered in the close pairing with a kindred soul has saved me from spiritual and emotional death, and she continues to egg me ever onward toward the light.  I have learned that two people can actually improve each other - through understanding and patience and silliness, and, for lack of a better word, love.  When I began to perceive who it was that I was with, I could barely contain my awe.  And now, miraculously, we are about to begin a lifetime together, on a new basis, and by our own rules, under the guidance of the only law that matters.

I cannot say any more, because the topic is larger than my powers of expression.